Open Question: How do I solve this wedding gift dilemma?
I was a guest to a wedding with my boyfriend awhile ago; his sister was getting married. His family was not very happy, though, because another family (his aunt/uncle, and their children and guests) apparently gave “very small” presents. Now his cousin, of that same family, is getting married. I was told that my boyfriend’s mother wants all of us (meaning her and her husband, my boyfriend and I, and his siblings and their guests) would be going in on an $80 gift, because that’s fair, since that is what all their gifts added up to when they were at his sister’s wedding.
I think this is tacky, considering we all got separate invitations, and would like my boyfriend and I to bring our own gift. He is very adament that we not spend any more money on this family because the gifts need to be “even.” I am tempted to just send a gift to them with both of our names on it, or even just my name, so I’m not contributing to a gift that has essentially four sets of adults contributing to it. It would be different if all the siblings were kids, but they are all adults, and therefore I think should be providing their own gifts.
What should I do?! Do i go along with this idea even though I think it’s cheap and tacky and petty? Or do I get a separate gift and risk my boyfriend’s parents and siblings being upset with me for doing that?
I should clarify - we’re not all going in on this in order to buy them something more expensive off the registry. if that were the case, great! The mom had already bought this gift awhile ago and it was going to be solely from the mom and dad. However, after they got the gifts from the daughter’s wedding, they decided that that gift was too expensive for just the two of them to give based on what they received from that family, and that’s why everyone’s name is going on it now.